5 Reasons to Hate Cellphone Shopping

...by special guest blogger, Karen Mihina, Nextrio Web Services

1. The "flaired-out" (3 clip on badges, holstered phone with plastic cover and zip out stapler) Sales Reps in the stores.

I'm not a top-of-the-line, MP3, email-syncing, song-identifer, needs-to-be-orange cellphone user. I need my phone so I can call for help when I lock myself out of the car, or the house (that hasn't happened in a while), but that was the catalyst for the phone. I walked miles to the nearest payphone (!), then to my husband's work to watch him drive away in the opposite direction, then walk miles back to the house. That was many years ago, and now at least two cell phones ago. So I just want some basic plan that allows me to call and now to text, because I can't get away from that. So when we asked for two basic free phones (hey, it's the recession), the sales person stopped his eyeballs in mid-roll. He almost sighed as he spoke without moving his lips to show us two models. Normally I research products before I buy them, but the phone thing is overwhelming and I figure they won't have everything in stock at the store, so I was hoping to rely on experts; experts who clearly loathe me.

2. Teenagers getting $500 Blackberry phones look at your phone purchase with disdain.

Yep, a 15 year-old next to us was getting a $500 phone. Her parents were purchasing insurance because they were all pretty sure (salesperson, the parents, the teenager) the phone was going to be lost. If I want to throw away $500, I'll book a trip to Vegas where I'll spend 1.5 hours gambling away $200 in fives at the Blackjack table, then spend the rest of the evening watching Elton John and John Lennon impersonators over the bar at the MGM hotel, because I can't go to sleep--I didn't book a room. I said throw away "$500"--that doesn't include the room in Vegas.

3. The non-data transfer.

When I say non-data transfer, I mean with basic phones, the pictures you took, the videos you shot, the messages from your kid while they spent the night at grandma's 2 years ago, all that will not be transferred to your new phone. That's what I mean, "non" or "no" data transfer.

4. Service like the post office without the numbers or ropes for a line.

It always seems like a mobbed free-for-all. No pick-a-number, no ropes. Do I stand behind someone? But then we should be looking at the phones, right? Do the sales people notice who's next? You'll wait and wait (lots of fun with young kids), and you know you're next, but then 2 or 3 people come in. Oh, ok, let's indicate we're next, but guess what, they've been in previously so the sales person recognizes them and they go in the back or pull out what they were waiting for. So for better service should I come back a few times during the day before I purchase?


5. Hang-up calls.

So while you were checking out the phones, your phone rings. You start towards the door to take the call, then realize it's your spouse calling you from a store phone. Har har. Then after you've endured the flaired-out sales rep, the teenagers, the line skippers and the tenseness of thinking that you need to go home and transfer all the data off your phone to the online album at $.25 a pop (and later find out your spouse has 56 items to offload!) you start getting calls that have no one on the line. BECAUSE your number is now in the store phone and the little kid that was playing with the store phones when you left is now calling you. Over and over.

Is this the Demise of the License Plate Game?

It's that time of year again - when we pack up the family wagon and head out on the open road to visit family. Vacations may never be the same with AutoNet Mobile, a wireless Internet service for your car. Great for long road trips, this device, which can be mounted almost anywhere in the car – even in the trunk or under the seat -- lets passengers surf the web, instant message, or play on their PSPs. You can even use it to talk on the phone if you have one of the fancy WiFi-Voice over IP handsets. The hardware costs $500 and comes with a monthly charge of $29. In true WiFi Hotspot form, the box lets you share one Internet connection with the whole car – rather than have separate “aircards” for each laptop. The Wi-Fi range is about 100 feet -- just enough to prevent tailgating freeloaders.

But before you stop paying your other Internet Service Providers, consider the limitations. The terms of service say the car has to be in motion, so this cannot be your home or office solution –not even if you leave the motor running. Not that the speeds of the service (which rely on the cell phone networks) would be sufficient enough to replace your other service. Unless you’re currently on dial-up – this service, advertised at 600-800 Kbps, will be a lot slower than what you’re used to. And don’t forget that wherever you drop your phone calls will be where you’ll drop your Internet connection – so don’t try to access your QuickBooks database or other high-throughput application. This is really for the family that can’t stop surfing and messaging long enough to enjoy each other’s company. How will we share the time-honored tradition of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”?